I Like Big Butts

As a parent it is so rewarding to teach your children something new. But, it’s even cooler when they figure things out for themselves.

My son, Ryan, has always been big for his age – especially big given that he is one of the youngest in his grade. From the time he was 18 months old, his height and weight measurements were off the percentile charts. At doctor’s appointments his stats were delivered to me as if/then statements – “He’s now 18 months, but if he was a 2 yr. old he’d already be in the 75th percentile”. He was like a bull in a china shop no matter where we went. He was in constant motion – constantly. I lost my baby weight in record time and was always glowing (okay, in a full body sweat) as I tried to keep up with him. Add to that, the fact that I come from a large family that is comprised of lots of girls, and it’s not hard to see why none of us seemed to know what to do with a boy – especially one that was a whirlybird of energy like Ryan. I have often described my mother’s interaction with him as akin to someone who is clearly not a “dog person” trying to play with a Saint Bernard. One of my favorite quotes is from my grandfather as he watched a then 2 year old Ryan at our Passover seder. “What’s wrong with the boy?” he asked with what can only be described as a mix of confusion and horror.

As Ryan grew I found that most of what I said to him started with the word “no”. “No Ryan, that’s fragile. No Ryan, don’t push your sisters. No Ryan, stop splashing in the mud. No Ryan, don’t throw that ball in the house. No Ryan, I definitely do not enjoy being smacked from behind when I’m not ready for it.” I was worried about what all this negativity would do to his self-esteem.

Instinctively I knew that I just had to channel his “spirit” in a positive way – ya know, put all that energy to good use. I was so excited when he could finally be involved in organized sports. As soon as he was old enough, I quickly signed him up for the 2 most popular sports in town – soccer and baseball. He hated them both. He practiced, he played in the games, but he didn’t enjoy it – at all. He’d run after the soccer ball and wind up barreling into other players (some of which were his own teammates!) knocking them down like pins in a bowling alley. On the baseball field he could make good contact while up at bat, but he was a slow runner. And the speed of play for baseball in 2nd grade was equally pathetic. He didn’t care that these were the sports most of his friends were playing. Soccer and baseball were not for him - he just wasn’t interested. Okay, I thought, so he’s just not going to be a sports kind of kid.

Then Ryan started to play football and his world changed. Now his size, energy and aggression were attributes! His face lit up the first time he tackled someone to the ground and received not only a “way to go” from his coach but also a clap on the back for it! Knocking people over, not being afraid to get dirty, and having a tough enough butt to withstand the knocks (literally) of playing the position of center… that’s what it took to play football – it was the perfect sport for him!

Then spring came and lacrosse was a similar eye-opener - less pads than football but fast physical game play. And his body was made for defense. In fact, Ryan has perfected a move that we have named the “butt hole”. When a lacrosse ball is on the ground, often there is a swarm of players all trying to pick it up with their sticks. Most players shove head first into the fray. Not my son. Ryan likes to back up into this type of gathering . He leads with his butt – shoving and bumping players aside – essentially creating a hole in the crowd by using his rear end to clear the way for him to pick up the ball. And it’s effective!

It’s what every parent hopes and dreams of– that their children can try and try again until they are able to take his/her own unique personality and physical traits and use them to a successful advantage. We’ve been commenting on (okay, and sometimes poking fun of ) Ryan’s broad build his whole life. Who was to know his big strong butt would be the thing to perhaps lead him to greatness someday?!?!